I have demons in me.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Randomize
