Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
