i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
