We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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