Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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