Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
