Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
