please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
