we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
