I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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