I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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