I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
