At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The power of my boobs compel you
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
