Where is the hickey?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
