Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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