Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I want to make a zoo with you.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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