I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
