it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
