thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
