I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
