YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
