all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
