my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
