Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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