I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize