so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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