hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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