He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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