Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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