My friends, they love my intelligence
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize