yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
True college students do jello shots in the library
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
