i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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