There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
