hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
