Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
