i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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