We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
