i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
