Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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