Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
