Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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