thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I look better un-naked...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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