but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
