you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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