I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just want to make out with him forever
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
