on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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