I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
