Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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