Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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