Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
