i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
