i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
