that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
