Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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