I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize