maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
