well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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