Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
