Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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