why didn't you poke me back
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
