he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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