i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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