I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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